


Double-faced

by Stella999



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: One Shot, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella999/pseuds/Stella999
Summary: This is a one-shot I did on Wattpad that I still wanted to save here.There may be grammatical mistakes, it may be cringy, either way, I hope you still enjoy it!!This fanfiction was written in 2018 and is mostly in Miku's Point Of View.
Kudos: 1





	Double-faced

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago, my writing has improved a whole lot since then, please take that into consideration and enjoy reading!!!

Miku's Pov

Hello my name is Miku. I'm 16, I'm just a usual high school girl like others. Well, almost. Every single day, I keep wearing that mask , yes that painted smile. People fall for it so easily, I could be a very great actress in fact.

My alarm clock rang, I opened my eyes and kicked and threw the clock far away from my precious ears.  
"Ugh, an other day again?" I sighed  
I just went like usual doing the same boring stuff such as : brushing my teeth , washing my face , taking a shower , putting makeup on.  
The identical process happening every single day of my worthless, pitiful life.  
Sometimes , I'm wondering what is the point of repeating it anymore, why not trying anything else out? Well society won't let me. I have to put that mask to be accepted by others. And even then , some people still hate me.

I just finished taking the same breakfast I eat every single day. What a meaningless and uninteresting life I have.

I then just walked to school , getting to meet "friends" that only love me because of my mask and not because of my actual self.

"Hi Miku~! (^o^)/" exclaimed hypocritically the blonde-haired girl, her name was Rin , yes , she also ran at me and hugged me as well.  
"Hi hi hi Rinny~! ( ' ▽ ' )ﾉ" I manically said while hoping for my life to end sooner.

I maybe forgot to mention you this , I used to being bullied my whole life because of my odd behavior and ways of thinking. I just realized that by wearing this mask, I became popular , I got everything I ever dreamed of when I used to being bullied but, something is missing.. Yes , my real self, where are you? Where are you hiding at? Are you afraid of who I am today? A part of the brainwashed society? That side with only puppets that act like everyone else to fit? And you decided to hide yourself behind this mask..

With those thoughts , I was walking with Rin on the street. Nothing particular happened.

As usual , I'm in the same classroom listening to those meaningless lessons that I won't even remember after graduating.

Yes, where is the originality? Always the same thing: a stupid school girl being popular and being loved by everyone.

But how about me really? The real "me" , the "me" I never showed to anyone but to my best friend Gumi.

I didn't speak about her yet. Well , it is time to introduce her now. Gumi is my childhood best friend, she entirely knows me as much as I know her, I trust her with my life and she does the same for me. She also is the most adorable girl ever, her hair and eyes are as green as the emeralds. Her skin is as clear as the one of a porcelain doll. Her personality ? I'm getting to it now: she is so understanding, also she is very kind and very mature for her age. Although she is a very shy person, Gumi is out-going around me, she is unrecognizable,as unrecognizable as me behind my mask.

Every, during the lunch break, I'm eating on the rooftop with her. Weirdly, yes, nobody else other than us come in the rooftop, it was the only time I acted like that "me" I kept hiding. I feel more comfortable around that piece of gummy bear >w<. (Miku's note : NO I'M NOT CUTE! SHUT UP!)

We were speaking normally as usual but I felt like today, there was something different about Gumi.. I felt like she was sad and sick of something.. I heard it in her tone. It was confirmed a bit after..

"Miku..." Gumi interrupted the playful casual conversation  
"Yes?" I replied emotionlessly right after laughing the whole time we spoke.  
"Can I ask you a favor?" She started to look a bit more playful and I was a bit reassured  
"Sure ^,^" I answered without seeing what she is going to say coming  
"Break it." She coldly asked  
"Breaking what?" I naively asked  
"That mask." She answered as coldly as her last statement  
"What are you talking about?" I asked panically without acknowledging what she was speaking about  
"The way you act every single day in front of those fake hypocritical people that you won't ever even see in your future again." She simply answered, sounding angry  
"I can't..." I replied, feeling down  
"Why not?!" She insisted, sounding sad and angry while keeping her cool  
"Because... All my wishes, all the things I've been dreaming of are happening with the help of that mask" I honestly answered, having a very bad memory of my dark past  
"I can understand, but it isn't like that you will l-" she started to say until the bell started to ring  
"We got to go to class now" I tried to avoid the topic  
"Sure.." Gumi replied , sounding unsure and worried

It sure is unusual.. She normally isn't that worried about me.. Well , she normally isn't worried at all... What made her that way..? While having those thoughts, the lesson just finished.. I listened to the teacher at the same time though..

It was the end of a long meaningless day, as usual.. I guess... While walking home with that annoying blondie that I,pretty much, want to murder, I just thought about what Gumi asked me... Why is she asking me that? She didn't before.. That's weird... I should text her when I will finish my homework due to tomorrow...

Time skip

After having done my sciences and maths homework, I remembered what I thought of doing right now and I started to take my phone out of my pocket and got to Gumi's contact, I started texting :  
"Hi Gummy Pie (^_−)−☆"  
(Miku's note: OKAY YES I KNOW THAT IT IS CUTE BUT PLEASE SHUT UP ALREADY!)  
While waiting for her answer , I took those Skittles I bought before going home. As I said it at the beginning , yes, it isn't that original and it is meaningless for that reason as well, I tell unnecessary stuff and I'm making it look interesting to people's eyes, and people think it is the definition of entertaining, pathetic.

A few minutes later

My phone got a notification. You already guessed I almost don't even need to precise it: it was Gumi's reply.  
"Hai hai hai Leeku ☆〜（ゝ。∂）"  
I instantly replied :  
"So... I was wondering..."  
"Yes?"  
"About this afternoon, you know.."  
"Oh yes, why?"  
"Why were you so worried all of a sudden?"  
"... I was worried this whole time. I didn't show it though..."  
"Oh I see.. Then... Why were you worried in the first place?"  
"Miku, you are an awesome person, you have a wonderful personality that not everyone like. The reason why I'm worried is that you might lose your uniqueness and your awesomeness because of others. Those people that you will never see ever again in the future..."  
I stopped to this text..I didn't know what to reply, she was right, but at the same time wrong... I don't find myself as awesome as she is describing it here.... I'm just fake, I keep faking everything , even lying to myself... Telling myself my life is better all the time that way because I'm popular and everyone loves me... But I somehow feel false... I know , at the beginning, I told otherwise, but didn't anyone tell you in your life not to trust strangers? Well, you can rely on it for that case, I lied to you and I lied to myself. And , now, Gumi opened my eyes, what am I doing? Am I really happy that way? Why pretending? I didn't realize it... I know, it is weird when you open your eyes and you realize you wasted your time... And there is hope for me... Before it is too late, I have to do something.. I don't know how... Who am I? I replied 10 minutes after to Gumi:  
"Gumi, who am I?"  
No reply. Maybe she was asleep.. Who knows? I looked at my phone: it was 11.30pm , I have to sleep because I have to wake up at 7am.  
I did what I had to do and I just installed myself in my bed and I don't know if it is obvious but after I slept.

The morning

I woke up and I did the same process as yesterday, the same boring and unentertaining process I keep doing every single days because I have to go to the same meaningless lessons...  
Already doing all of this repetitively, why am I making it harder by pretending to be someone else? What is the actual point? Who am I anymore? I don't even know myself.... I never even tried to meet my real self... I keep hiding it like it is a crime to be different...What Gumi told me in the texts really made me question my whole existence as well..

I don't know what to do... What should I do?  
I don't have any answers to this question... And I feel like a prisoner in a mindless and ruthless society that tries to do everything to make people behave like everyone else... I should ask Gumi about it during the lunch break, for now, I may have to get out of my house and find that stupid blondie.. What is her name again? Oh yeah, "Rin". Well, I don't have to only count on Gumi, I also should count on myself and stop being friends with her since I know how she keeps backstabbing me. I guess I will ignore her this time, I'm sure I will feel better ^_^.

As usual, I walked down the street and at the exact location I was going to meet Rin, instead of waiting for her,I just continued the whole path alone. I'm starting to feel slightly better. I'm even starting to wonder why I was wearing that pityful and pathetic mask. 

My life, as you already know, is uninteresting. I'm still doing the same things, thinking it will guide me anywhere. And you might think about the future, yes, deeply, I still have hopes that it isn't going to be the same thing as what I'm living, I never even bothered focusing on those thoughts... I blinded myself with popularity... I made it an addiction... I feel like it is too late to save m-

Miku's mind "MIKU! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU! YOU ONLY ARE 16, 16 GODDAMMIT! ARE YOU GOING TO TELL IT IS TOO LATE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ANYMORE?! Life is a test and a game and you shouldn't give up too quickly by tellling yourself it is too late, it never is too late!"

Miku: "who is it....?"

Miku's mind: "I'm your mind. Your rational mind. Listen to me, believe me... I'm saying that because I want your happiness as much as you want it... I'm the only one that can understand you as well as your own self..."

I should believe her... I'm sure she wants to help me... I should trust myself more than I trust that mean voice telling me to hide who I am. What do I have to prove to others? That I'm worth them loving me? What is the point anymore...? When will I live MY life? Who said I was alive to please people? What did I get myself into? It is not too late, I'm still in high school after all... I still have that fear people will reject me and not accept me though... But who actually cares? Should I care....? Gumi... She knows how I am, but she still loves me for who I am and she is worried about me... She is a real friend, I have her and she is so fun to hang around with.. The other people I'm trying to please are boring, dull, not entertaining, not creative, nothing good to me: just superficial. Why am I forcing myself to be friends with them? Just to make sure I won't be bullied? It just is bullcrap, I shouldn't spoil my life because of those dumb people at my school. I only have one life to live after all....

With all those thoughts, I entered that prison, you might guess what I'm exactly speaking about, right? I don't need to tell it, it will make me repeat myself.. I just decided, this time, to just stay with Gumi and stop speaking to everyone, the same people that bullied me and that just accepted that damn mask, those hypocritical pieces of shit, I don't need them, I need REAL friends. 

A few minutes later...

The bell rang, I have to be in my classroom to avoid being late, as usual. Still doing the same boring process over and over again without even counting how many times I'm doing it in my dull life. 

I may have to thank my mind for making me open my eyes on that illusion I was living in this whole time... Nothing and nobody forced me to be someone else... Society doesn't have their rights on me, I'm not a puppet, I'm a human being with a mind, a soul, and my own way of thinking, whether people like it or not.

I'm just Miku, nothing more, nothing less, and I thank you for being there until the end.


End file.
